Well, I think what you’re experiencing is an example of conflicts unresolved, and I’m sorry you’re going through it. My husband and I don’t have arguments or tense moments just to have them, or to spice up our sex life (I know that’s a thing some are into). Ideally, I’d love to have a marriage where there is no conflict, but the reality is we’re two different people coming together for the sake of love. Loving, as an action, requires us to want others (who we love) to grow — to thrive, not for our sake, though — the nature of that is not always going to be comfortable. I’d love to react in peace when I’m faced with discomfort, but I don’t always, and that’s when conflict arises. Where my husband and I work to create peace is in how we speak with each other and resolve our conflicts. We may be in conflict about one thing, but our entire relationship is going to shit because we’re blessed with ways to communicate and love each other. Fundamentally, we approach that aspect of our relationship from a similar POV, which helps. // Also, sometimes conflict has less to do with the other person, and more with what’s going on in our world and our inability to accept the now. I think conflict is inevitable because we haven’t all arrived at a place where we live in the now and accept it as such.